The Youth Network

In your opinion, what must youth ministers do to create deeper youth ministries?

The title of this post came from a question asked to me by one of my long term friends and fellow youth workers, Joel Lusz - Youth Pastor, Sun Tree UMC

Here is how I responded…

1) Having an expanding but clear Biblical definition of “depth” is a healthy starting point. What defines depth for one person may feel like the shallow end to another - depending on the age and im/maturity. 

Does depth demand a growing orthodoxy (thinking)? A genuine orthopathy (experiencing)? A compassionate othoproxy (doing)?

Every community pool in America is legally required to label the depth around its edges so it is evident to everyone. There is a standard for where the shallow end begins and the deep end begins. It would be deadly for the shallow end to be incorrectly labeled. 

The same may be also true of the spiritual life. When we have a strong working definition of what depth actually is, then we can know what it takes to foster it potential in our own lives as well as those we have been asked to lead. When we have a poorly defined understanding of “depth” we may be asking students to dive head first into the shallow end.

2) Depth can not be manufactured nor microwaved. It is a gift from God that we are not entitled to experience (ever) just because we desire to walk deeply with God. 

3) Depth is more visible in youth ministries where;

a) God’s greatness is continually put on display front and center. 

a) Youth leaders are personally spending extended time alone with God (seeing and savoring Him in His Word and His World).

b) Students are consistently taught how to read the scriptures for themselves and are taught how to pray boldly. 

c) Students and leaders are both actively committed to sharing God’s greatness with the next generation (locally and abroad). 

d) Humor and vulnerability are both celebrated. 

e) Forgiveness is an action word. 

f) Parents are being actively discipled. This one is critical.

g) The youth minister is not the only adult influencing depth but there is a growing community of adults whose lives are a working definition of depth regardless of circumstance and most often because of it.

What Event?

KEVIN ALTON :: youthworker :: musician :: friend
twitter :: @elvisfreakshow
email :: kevin@youthworkercircuit.com
www.purringtonmusic.com :: www.youthworkercircuit.com 

The one constant in youth ministry is that everything is always changing. The way we used to do it doesn’t work anymore and often the moment we realize that something is working well is the same moment that begins to change. The math behind this is also why youthworkers in general LOVE it when a pastor head-pats them with the phrase, “I know how it is. I started my career in youth ministry.”

But the real result in youth ministry, particularly considering average turnover rates and the relative brevity of most youth ministry careers, is that today’s youth minister very likely doesn’t even knowwhat used to be done that isn’t working anymore and very often can launch down that same path with a vague notion of how it might work. Usually based on a long-time church member’s best recollection of past ministry. And communicating that to over-tasked parents can be even harder, something we joked about earlier this week here.  So today we want to open a framework for conversation, an outline to generate some shared information, focusing on EVENTS. Specifically offsite, whether an evening, full-day, weekend, or week-long. As you reply, hit these points for us:

1. How does your event attendance compare to your program attendance?

2. What criteria do you use to justify an event on the calendar (fun vs. spiritual growth, etc)?

3. Are you still able to do summer trips in spite of growing school schedules? If so, what kind?

4. How much do school programs affect your ability to do events during the year?

5. How do you communicate to your families? (Yes, all of the ways).

Here are mine:

1. Our average program event attendance represents about half of our active youth (if that wasn’t clear, our youth average attending 1 out of 2 program sessions). Of that number, about half again attend our non-program events. It often feels like we’ve provided a menu, and they’re choosing what they want to eat. They do seem to be equally drawn to fun events and spiritual development events, which is great.

2. Knowing that my numbers are going to be as above, I really try to keep the cost of events low; my personal cost for offsite events is covered by my budget, so I don’t like to spend a lot of that budget on events that only draw half of half of our kids. If a “fun” event is going to be expensive, I generally try to set it up without me (our adults generally pay their own way). Beyond cost, I try to make sure that “pure fun” events are equally balanced with mission and spiritual growth events.

3. This is getting harder in our community. School sports camps begin the day after graduation and continue until school begins again. Our school system also only has an 8-week summer and the schools are only required to leave the kids alone for ONE of those weeks (so they give them the week of the 4^th of July, a holiday they’d have had to work around anyway). The crescendo of scheduling is really amazing in July; we really can’t plan anything that month. June participation in once thriving missions weeks continues to decline here.

4. The rest of the year is a little easier; at least the sports are spread out. Weekend retreats are the most noticeably affected; fall retreats lose football players and band members, spring retreats lose basketball and soccer players.

5. Weekly blog, email, bulletin; twice weekly (or as needed) group texts; direct calling or in-person meetings/announcements; quarterly direct mailing; quarterly parent meetings; announcements at every service/on-site youth program

How is it where you’re in ministry?

(Source: ywmovement.org)

Oneness

One of the banner passages of scripture we cling to at the Chattanooga Youth Network is John 17 where Jesus is recorded praying a dynamic prayer for believers and unbelievers. Our heart is to help the Church experience a dynamic oneness that will announce the reality of the Gospel.

In the 17th chapter in the Gospel of John we get to be a fly on the wall of Jesus’ prayer life. The Gospels record Jesus pulling away to be alone with the Father. This prayer flows powerfully from the well of Jesus’ deep heart for those who believe and those who will one day finally rest in the cosmic reality of God’s great invitation into holy brotherhood and sonship. 

My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

   24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

   25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me.26 I have made you[e] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Last weekend I had the opportunity to officiate my fourth wedding. The words I crafted flow right from an ongoing interest of mine in the connection between Trinitarian relationship and Christian marriage. Within the personality of God we see a “oneness” that we are invited to experience when we bind our lives to another person. Speaking to the primary purpose of marriage at a wedding seems like a very relevant direction to head. Even as I was looking this young couple in the eyes as I spoke, tears formed in theirs (and mine) as I charged them to chase oneness every minute of every day. Oneness with God. Oneness with each other. During this message I was at one point very aware that I had not referenced my notes once. This message was flowing right out of my own life and marriage. Probably because this has been a place of radical challenge and change for me. 

The morning after the wedding I spoke to about fifty students at my church. All week I prayed about what God might like me to share. Lots of topics floated through my mind during daily prayer times as I considered before God what direction He might like me to head. At least ten times throughout the week I had this same recurring thought that I should speak on marriage but each time dismissed it saying, ‘What would a middle or high school student care about marriage? Isn’t it a bit premature to teach on marriage? Do you really want to encourage students to know this information when they can not or should not access it for themselves?” After the wedding on Saturday night I sensed the Lord really press me hard to teach on Oneness and specifically related to marriage. So I crafted my message preparing to dive wholeheartedly into the Biblical purpose of marriage which is “Oneness.” 

On Sunday morning as students were seated after worship I made a few introductory remarks to lighten up the mood in the room and then asked students to raise their hands if they have ever heard anyone teach on the purpose of marriage specifically to students. Not one single student raised their hand. I asked them a follow up question. “How many of you are interested in what the Bible says about marriage?” Every hand was raised. Interesting. 

Clue #1 - Teenagers care about what God thinks about marriage. 

I laid down a foundation for students to understand Trinitarian relationship. I then shared with them the words that I had spoken the night before to this young Christian couple who were surrounded by their family and friends. Here is what I shared…

Each member of the trinity exists to amplify the strengths of the other members. Were any of the other members to to exalt itself above the others it would destroy the perfectly submitted relationship that they share together. Their oneness would be compromised.

Here we have the image of God modeling for us the true purpose of marriage - Oneness. 

Each member of the one plays a critical role in the fellowship and to the degree that they are faithful to pursuing oneness, maintaining this oneness will be blessed by the experience of oneness. 

So God in His generosity, created us and He invites us into relationship for the primary purpose of experiencing perfect submission - first to Him and then with one another. 

“Perfect submission” looks very different than we would even imagine in our post modern culture today. The word submission conjures up images that have very little to do with Biblical submission at all. 

Submission is not one member being stronger and another weaker

Submission is not one member being more and another less

Submission is not one person losing their voice 

Submission is not one person making all of the decisions

Submission is not one person standing center stage while the other member lurks in the shadows. 

Remember, all of the members exist to amplify the strengths of the other members. 

Peter a disciple hand picked by Jesus writes to us about what perfect submission looks like. It has often been a text widely misunderstood and ripped out of context. The central image that Peter uses in the context of submission is “power.” 

Basically you both want the other to win. 

1 Peter 3 has this to say about “perfect submission.” 

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands.”

Our culture supports the lie that would tell us that the strength of a woman is completely external or that a woman’s power derives in her outward beauty alone. Look on the cover of any magazine targeting women (or men) and you will see the lie being perpetuated. 

Does that mean that a woman can not be beautiful? No. Does this mean that these fine clothes are worthless or fundamentally wrong? Absolutely not. This passage simply amplifies the truth that aims at where really beauty and strength are formed in a woman. From the inside out. 

Jess, you look absolutely beautiful. Everyone is in awe of you today. But I know this about you. You are a strong woman not because of your beauty but because of what God has done and continues to do inside of you. You have heard God call you His beloved and you have allowed him to resonate and renovate every fiber of your character and your heart. That is what drew David Hutton to you. Now, your outward beauty may have made him do a double take but it is your character that leads him to stand so resolutely beside and with you today. 

Peter then addresses the husband.

Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives. Treat them as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing can hinder your prayers.

Our culture is just as quick to offer up their perspective as to where the strength of a man lies or does not lie. 

In commercials men are often portrayed something like this…a woman is standing in the forefront shaking her head saying something like, “My husband is so stupid. He doesn’t even have a brain.” In the background the husband is all wound and wrapped up in the blinds like a fool, probably because he attempted some simple home repair project that failed and he can’t seem to find his way out of the blinds.

There is no doubt a real misunderstanding where the power and lie for us as men and women. 

Men get a bad rap when it comes to these passages on submission because they were penned by the hand of man. But the next passage was penned by Paul, a single man who went on to write most of what is called the New Testament in the Bible. 

Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave herself up for her (1) to make her holy (2) cleansing her by the washing with water through the word (3) to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands out to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all noone ever hated his own body but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the Church - for we are members of His body. 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. 

What men are being called to as husbands is a dramatic surrender in order to amplify the holiness of their wife. It is compared to Christ and his sacrifice - which was a complete physical death to himself for his bride the church. That is an image of real power and real strength. 

David, you are an incredibly strong man. Not because of your physical stature or your ability to strike fear into the heart of another person. You are strong because of your character that is reflected in your love for Christ. It is not your brawn that attracted Jess to you, it is your character. That is why she would risk in such a substantial way to stand here and unite herself with you for the lifelong adventure of pursuing oneness. 

I concluded my thoughts with a couple of anecdotal comments and prayed for students before they departed. A few minutes later I bumped into one of the high school guys I have come to know and love as a member of our Discipleship Group. Evan is an encourager by nature but is never afraid to let us know when things do not “land” on his heart and mind. He thanked me for the message and then proceeded to tell me that he wished we spoke about this topic more often saying, “We just can’t talk early enough about it. ” What Evan is saying here is powerful. The earlier the better. The more the better. That is when and how often he would like to learn about how to prepare himself for the holiest relationship we could ever experience with another person on this planet. 

Clue #2 - Teenagers really want to know what God thinks about marriage. 

Are you teaching on this topic to students? If you are considering it, please make sure the person you elevate to communicate shares Jesus heart expressed in John 17. That as the world would notice oneness in a marriage that they would know that God is real and that God is great. 

We do a substantial amount of teaching on abstinence. Have we really helped students see that oneness is at stake when we sin sexually. The bottom line is that your student want to hear about it. They are longing to know God’s heart on this issue. Let them know yours in the process as you lead them and love them.

Secret Sauce

What is your favorite “Secret Sauce” from any restaurant? You know what I am talking about? Whether you are eating with friends at PF Chang’s when your waiter appears and makes their own special blend of a spicy/hot/zesty sauce for your meal or you are sitting in the drive through line at your local Chik-Fil-A ordering a #1 Chicken sandwich meal with an extra large sweet tea. We are all very aware that it’s the secret sauce that keeps us coming back for more. There is even a web site dedicated to helping us to replicate the secret sauce from our favorite dives. [Click Here for Secret Sauces]  

What is the secret sauce in your student ministry? If you were to poll the students in your ministry and ask them what keeps them coming back, what might they say? That would be such a fun and risky experiment. We might risk finding out that our secret sauce is not all so secret after all.

So what would YOU say it is? Small groups? Worship? Incredible teaching? Missions? Outreach events? Media and technology? Lights and sound? Relevance? 

The list could be endless. Any secret sauce is a blend of special ingredients that are carefully mixed together with just the right amount of potency - not to bitter, not too salty and not too sweet.

There is always a team of people behind the scenes who are working hard to make sure that the entire experience is a tremendous value so that when the secret sauce collides with your taste buds there is a clear connection with the great service to your palate.

Is the secret sauce in your ministry even really a sauce…or is it an ethos of loving Jesus for all He is worth and moving authentically into intentional relationships with the teenagers within your influence? When we build a team of passionate and called people who love to deliberately place themselves in the presence of teenagers we are whipping up a batch of the most lethal secret sauce known to man. This is the stuff revivals are made of.

Bible studies, worship experiences, mission trips and outreach events will flow from a well of relationship where students (a) will not only invite other students to your ministry but (b) they will be embedded as missionaries who know how to whip up a secret sauce that whets THEIR friends’ palates to see and savor Jesus as well. 

When we talk about SEEING and SAVORING Jesus at the Chattanooga Youth Network- we know that He is far more than a sauce or recipe. He is actually the entire meal. 

CRUMBS 2.0 - Self Injury Behavior

In March, the Chattanooga Youth Network hosted its very first CRUMBS event with youth leaders in a community where several suicides had recently taken place. Our hope when we present on topics like these is that we would be helping youth leaders, parents, teachers and students to “Notice and Navigate the Evidence to Teens in Crisis.” 

Our staff had the opportunity to be invited to share “CRUMBS 2.0 - Self Injury” yesterday to over five hundred Marion County middle school students and faculty members. The focus this was on Self Injury and mainly the eraser game (or as Marion County students call it…”the sissy game”) and cutting. 

Eight sessions with 50-60 students each from 9:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. were focused on helping students and teachers get a sense of what drives someone to Self Injury. One of the things that I spent a lot of our time unpacking was that our skin is both a boundary and a billboard.

“The psychology (what we know and understand about the mind and soul) and the anthropology (what we know about the body and people) of Self Injury Behavior (SIB) are important to consider. The skin is the ultimate boundary between the self and others and serves as “our message center or billboard. For example, blushing, tears, cosmetics, piercings and tattoos can communicate information to others. SIB can serve as a symptomatic remedy, commemorative wound, symbolic, self punishment or cry for help and attention.”

If our skin is a boundary then it must be there to protect us or others from something. That is what a boundary is for. To protect the content within the boundary and often to protect what is outside of that boundary. We lock our doors at night to keep the bad guys out. We fence our yards to keep our barking dogs from running free and scaring our neighbors. Our skin is there to protect us.

God made us so intricately that he would also have our skin serve as a message center or a billboard for us. It is constantly announcing to the world how we are really doing. Tears, smiles, grimaces, blushing all announce to others like a billboard a message that we want or need sent. Tattoos and piercings are ways we use the skin to send a message for us. Self Injury also announces something to others that needs to be (1) noticed with confidence and (1) navigated with compassion. 

Four percent of the population is involved in Self Injury whether it is cutting, burning, hair pulling, nail biting, bone breaking, punching objects or self and more. Many would be tempted to think that “they must not care very much about themselves if they do that kind of thing.” In fact the opposite is true. It’s that they care far too much that is the real problem. 

A cutter generally struggles with deep seated self hatred, anger, sadness or frustration. Cutting becomes a means of expression and dealing with these emotions. Here is what a friend of ours who struggled with self injury had to say

“My wife and I both had personal experience with self—injury. Mine had more to do with hating my mom. My wife’s was more about hating herself. the common theme is that some how self-destruction becomes a path. Somewhere in there for all of us is a deep shame. I think those deep messages that say “not that you DID something wrong, but you ARE something wrong”—are sometimes what we are trying to dig out, or cut out.”

So how do we help someone who is struggling with Self Injury? 

1. Notice with confidence - Learn the warning signs. 

2. Navigate with compassion - Lean in with loving intent. 

The bottom line is that students and adults need to A.C.T.
Acknowledge - Acknowledge that your friend has a problem.
Care - Let the person know you are concerned and want to help. 
Tell - Tell a trusted adult.  

To have our staff come speak to your organization or Church email us at info@theyouthnetwork.org or call us at (423) 961-8071.

Momentum and Intimacy.

By Hayne Steen

Over the course of fifteen years the tug of war on my heart and mind in student ministry became predictable. Every year I felt torn between the desire to to do more/be more in the lives of students VS the desire to do less/be less hoping that might translate into being healthier. For the first five years in student ministry I worked on average 70 hours weekly. It was a season when I had more margin to spend my time that way. Is that an excuse though?

For fifteen years in student ministry I vacillated between feeling an intense need to diversify our ministry in order to reach more students faster AND at the same time longing to streamline (aka radically simplify) how we programmed our ministry. It became fairly predictable when each of these temptations would surface. In the slow seasons when less students were involved (in late spring) I would feel this intense desire to dream of new ways to diversify reaching even more kids. That usually translated into more busy-ness and more activity. When the fall was kicking into high gear and I was out late several nights a week, out of town for so many outreach camps, discipleship retreats, staff retreats, speaking engagements and youth worker training conferences I would then dream of streamlining my job with reduced programming with a faint vision of being more rested and less frenetic in my work. 

As the spring is rapidly merging into summer how are you doing…really? Have you been able to take time to rest? When was the last time you took 2-3 days and left town with the expressed purpose of being still? Last week (after an exhausting year of wrapping up four years of graduate study) I took my wife to Breckenridge, Colorado to spend four days at a marriage retreat hosted by my friends over at The SoulCare Project. It was not what I expected it to be at all. Instead it was exactly what we both needed. Time together. Time with God alone. That time has done more for our marriage than any thing we have ever done together. God was more than faithful to meet us in the stillness and quiet. 

Next week my wife is taking me to the beach for four days. Granted, it is the Young Life Tennessee regional staff getaway but is still going to be another wonderful time away. Many would say that it is an awfully large expense to take an entire regional staff away to the beach for four days to rest and relax together. The leadership sees that so many of the staff are like me and live in the dynamic tension of more versus less.

There is no prescription for what is the best rhythm of ministry. Henri Nouwen offers one that I think makes a lot of practical and theological sense. It is a slow progressive movement from solitude to community to ministry. When we have had our needs met in solitude by God and God alone we will be less inclined to use others or ministry to satisfy what only God Himself can provide. When I slow down and build in time to be still with God then I am less inclined to turn to more programming or people to meet needs they were never called or capable of meeting.

One of our college professors, Dr. Mattie Hart, modeled a life of intention, rest and margin. Her ministry to us was not at all limited by her hiddenness. Instead her presence was even more potent. She routinely reminded us that “momentum is the thief of intimacy.” In my marriage and in my ministry, I could not agree more. It has only been when I slowed down long enough to be still in the presence of another that I have been able to pay closest attention to how to love and pray for that person. Psalm 46:10 even declares, “Be still and know that I am God.” Our momentum could be saying something about what we know about God. 

I confess that my life has sadly preached a false Gospel of, “Stay busy and know that Hayne is God.” 

How about you?